My supervisor is leaving!

This week I have experienced the emotional highs and lows that result from finding out that your supervisor is leaving you. It is official. One year into my PhD, and my supervisor is leaving the country.

A rumour from a fellow student with less to lose than I induced the reaction he was looking for.

"What?!! Head-hunted overseas?!!" Shock (and excitement?) tickled my toes. Later, I confronted my supervisor with this news, and was displeased with his dismissive response. For the week since, I have been waiting in tense anticipation to find out whether or not he has decided to leave and whether or not the lab will break up.

I can appreciate the reasoning for the level of secrecy, but that doesn't stop the anger from building up inside me. I am angry that I have to hold on to this information alone, with no outlet or room for discussion, and no indication of whether or not he will ever reveal his decision.

This week, he has decided to break the news to us, gently. Too gently for my liking. Since stumbling upon his secret, I have imagined an embarrassed but firm announcement during lab meeting, or a sudden call to his office for him to explain to us all that this lab is no longer.

Instead, he has decided to inform us one by one. One person a day. In private, in secret, and with strict instructions not to tell anyone else. Presumably he informed us in order of importance, or perhaps reverse order of impact that this news will cause:

Monday. The postdoc who has just joined us and who is on a temporary contract anyway. She'll be easy, why would she care?
Tuesday: His Research Technician. The girl who runs the lab and who is (was?) imminently about to start her PhD here.
Wednesday-Thursday: everyone is looking around quietly to see who else knows.
Friday: the most recently commenced PhD student.

Right, that's it. Everyone knows! He passes me in the hallway.

"Oh Lucy, yes, I have decided, and have talked to everyone now, I AM leaving."

I feel like a jilted lover. I feel like I deserved my own private meeting where I was properly informed of his decision, rather than his casual admission in the hallway for anyone to hear. We'll talk on Monday apparently, and decide what to do then.

Maybe I will emerge on the other side of the weekend in a more stable mindset. Only the Monday meeting will tell.