Departure denial

The human brain possesses a remarkable capacity for self-preservation. Faced with impending doom, the brain can employ 10 basic defence mechanisms to reduce stress levels and allow the individual time to come to terms with the situation.

This past week, I've come to realise my own state of denial. I guess that means that I'm no longer in denial.

Tomorrow our lab is going to participate in our last ever lab meeting, and this is an undeniable fact.

Myself and the two other remaining PhD students have spent the last week shopping desperately for unnecessary token gifts to mark the departure of our main supervisor and two postdoctoral scientists next week. More than once we lamented on our unfortunate situation. How unfair it seems that not only are we, 3 early PhD students, left to defend for ourselves for the remainder of our studies, but we are also delegated the expensive and time-consuming task of organising and funding the departure celebrations. My stress levels have risen, experiments have suffered, and my bank account is hurting.

Now that my denial has surfaced, my anxiety is rising. I can't help but wish this was over, but there are still a few remaining awkward social situations to endure before I can get on with life. A few days ago we went on our goodbye lab dinner, where we delivered the first of the gifts. Dutifully we listened to advice about how we should fight to retain our lab space as other lab groups take advantage of our vulnerability without a leader. The official departmental farewell gathering still remains, as does the final goodbye.

But on the plus side, the experience is bringing the 3 of us closer together--a necessity if we're going to make it through. After all, 3 people in denial is better than 1.